Sometimes, in the midst of anything big, it is more important to find peace and comfort than it is to continue that project.
We are a military family, and sometimes the military likes to throw monkey wrenches into plans. Because my husband is so close to retirement, we were hopeful that we could avoid the bigger twists and turns, and just finish out the last couple of years. We are awaiting more details, and anything in the Army can change in an instant, but last week we found out that they aren't done with us yet. In so many ways, last week was a rough one. (And no, it's not a deployment. Just difficult.)
I awoke that Sunday, planning to go to the church down the road. It's a tiny, storefront church, and I've been curious about it. But my heart was hurting. And I needed to see Pastor Franks and hear how he was doing, to let him know with a hug how much he means to so many people.
Before I knew it, I was driving down that curved road again, past the horses and the nodding, winter-browned trees. Sometimes, church and family call to you with a voice that cannot be ignored.
There is absolutely nothing in this world that matches the comfort one feels when people are so genuinely glad to see you. Hugs, smiles, waves from across the small room -- but the touch that meant the most was when Pastor Franks held my face in his timeworn, gentle hands, and blessed me with his eyes.
I was originally going to title this blog post, "The Are Nots," because that was what Pastor Franks talked about. He used 1 Cor 1:27-29 to begin talking about how God will use "the foolish things to shame the wise...the weak to shame the strong". He will use the "things that are not to nullify the things that are."
Pastor Franks said "I don't want to be like someone else. I want to be like Jesus." He said he blesses no one, but the Holy Spirit does-- God is the Blessor. (In my heart, I was thinking, "Pastor Franks, the Spirit sure flows through you pretty easily.") He told us of the "fullness of spirit," which is different from the gift of the spirit given to all Christians. The fullness of spirit is, I think, the ability to let yourself be so filled by God that the rest of your human self simply gets out of the way to let it work.
I'm not there. Most people aren't. But the idea that God would use those who are "uncultured, uneducated," such as D. L. Moody... (Go ahead and look him up-- I did and was stunned at his accomplishments.)
Pastor Franks said one other thing that really hit home for me. He spoke of a person who, when others saw him coming, would inspire them to say, "Here comes Jesus." There was a Christ-like light about this person. Pastor Franks spoke of how he wanted people to say that about him, and how that should be what we aspire to. He asked this question, "Why not? Why wouldn't people say that about you?" I found a new goal that day in the Triple 7 congregation.
This was the amazing song Tara sang.
This Sunday was also the weekend after my birthday. This week I have truly thanked God for the gift of one more year. One more chance to get it right, one more time to say all those "thank you's" and "I love you's" and try to be someone worthy of the word, "Christian." Happy birthday to me.