In some ways, writing this blog has opened my eyes in ways I could never have believed.
What am I truly looking for in a church?
What does this kind of search do for a person?
And oh, the Bible verses I've learned!
However, in other ways, this search and this blog have been uncomfortable ones for me.
Am I, after all, just "The Church Critic"? Should I give a service 3 "alleluia's", or a church, 5 "steeples"?
Where do I get off, anyway?
When I'm sitting in an unfamiliar church, or even a church where I know people but have not been asked to sit next to them (sometimes because they have duties elsewhere in the church), and I'm feeling a little lost or a little lonely, sometimes I really struggle with whether I can or should keep on with it.
The young preacher who sounds and gestures just like a young Matthew Broderick, making me feel like I'm watching "Ferris Bueller's Day of Rest."
The sermon that has one Bible verse, and the rest has nothing to do with the Bible at all. In fact, that whole sermon seems to be about other churches.
And yes, the little whispering doubts that tell me I'm no seminary student...what nerve I have, to even think I have something to say about churches! Or pastors!
And then, thankfully, the darkness of doubt backs away.
You see, I know why I'm doing this. I've always had an interest in churches and why they do the things they do. I've had an interest in the holiness, and the contradiction, inherent in human beings seeking God. I have always been curious about the differences between churches and pastors and denominations. Overall, this has been fun.
More importantly, I feel closer to God than I have ever felt before. I have been involved with a wonderful group of women in a Bible Study (remember Family?), that helps keep me grounded in God and refreshed in spirit. And I have learned oh, so much.
As I go each week to a different church, driving around town is a different thing. "I've been to that one," and it was a glorious day. "Oh, I wonder what that little one is like," and I make a note. As I attend all of these churches, little by little I am learning about my neighbors. Church by church, stitch by stitch, this search is sewing a blanket of community around me that I never could have imagined.
There are two parts to this week's post. First, I happened to accept my friend's invitation (from months ago) on the very day that she would be baptized. Remember what I've said about there being no accidents? Second, the sermon itself versus what I actually believe.
This is the song that was playing, bringing me straight back to my childhood.
First:
My friend has invited me to her church from the moment I told her I didn't have a church home. She has spoken many times about the transformation in her own family, and about the comfort and support that this church has given her. Over last weekend, I received a little flyer in a "goody bag" from a local event that she spearheaded, and decided "this was the week."
Tabernacle Baptist Church sits off to the side of the road, the steeple rising high and reminding me of Matthew 5:14-16, with the city on the hill and the light showing to all. When I got there, the welcome was immediate. Pews are well-worn and aged to a golden patina, the church is filled with light. My friend came over and told me about her baptism, rubbing her very-pregnant belly. We made jokes about a "water birth", and how slowly and carefully she'd be baptized.
For those who don't know, in a Baptist church, baptism has "nothing to do with salvation." I am taking quotes from the associate pastor who conducted the baptism, but this is also how I was raised and (truthfully) what I believe. Full-water baptism is an "outward manifestation of what happens within," and represents dying to oneself and being raised again, a new person. The idea is to wash off our sins and our old habits and our old ways, and be raised with Him. There are many different types of baptism, many different beliefs that go along with it, and biblical references to Jesus being baptized. Some believe in baptizing infants, some believe in only baptizing adults, some believe that once a person reaches an age of understanding they are eligible. My friend had been baptized at another church, and chose to do this for her own personal reasons and to truly become a member of Tabernacle. I will say, from personal experience, that baptism creates a feeling of starting anew, and (re)committing one's life to Christ.
Her baptism was a lovely thing to behold. Her husband helped her down the steps, carefully holding her arm, and her dripping, joyful smile afterwards was a sight to behold.
On a side note, when I first heard she was to be baptized, I looked all over for the baptistry. I've seen churches use everything from what looked like an outdoor fountain, to a jacuzzi-looking pool, to an elaborate portable tub that reminded me more of a metal coffin. I couldn't see anything here. As the time for the baptism neared, church deacons and other helpers prepared for the baptism by moving the choir pews, removing the floor, and setting aside the floor supports. This baptistry was built into the floor of the choir!
Second:
Sometimes the lesson in a church service is particularly amusing in its timing. Just before leaving the house, my husband let me know that he was watching How Booze Built America and enjoying Mike Rowe's unusual take on the, um, history lesson. So, what was the very first verse?
Ephesians 5:17-18
New International Version (NIV)
17 Therefore do not be foolish, but understand what the Lord’s will is.18 Do not get drunk on wine, which leads to debauchery. Instead, be filled with the Spirit...
I laughed and laughed, deep inside. Okay, I got it. Don't get drunk.
Then the pastor expounded on the verse, saying that this was sometimes used by other churches to show that drinking was allowed, as long as people don't go get drunk. He said he disagreed, and followed up with a second verse. He said, "The Bible never contradicts itself."
The second voice, Proverbs 20:1, expanded his first teaching by saying that anyone led astray by beer or wine is not wise.
The rest of the sermon went on in much the same vein, and some very good points were made. We are, as Christians, called to be separate from and different from the world. He said we are to be filled with the Holy Spirit, to be joyful due to God and not due to the things of the world.
He asked, when we look for influence and help, where do we go? Do we turn to a coworker, who seemingly has it all together but does not follow God? Do we go to a friend, but not to the Bible? Do these people really, honestly have it together?
I really liked some points that he made, during the sermon. He said it's a daily choice, that we be filled with the Spirit. He asked if we were running on spiritual fumes. I truly think that God gave me the "meat" of this sermon so that I would go and be changed, versus my knee-jerk reaction to the initial verses. One particular quote that I starred in my notebook was, "It's not that we reject the influence of God, it's that we allow other things to influence us more."
You may be wondering by now, what exactly was my problem? Well, here it is. Though I grew up Baptist (we don't drink, we don't dance), I am not a teetotaler. If we go out to someplace that has alcohol, I generally won't drink because I am either the driver or I am not in a place where I feel completely safe. However, I do occasionally (gasp) have a drink. I like how some wines taste, I like fruity mixed drinks that go down icy and warm at the same time, and I don't mind if my husband kicks back with a beer when he's watching football. Alcohol has a time and a place, just as dancing, and singing, and mourning, and staying silent all do. Ecclesiastes 3:1 is one of my favorite verses of all time, and it's a good lesson to remember.
During sermons like this, I want to say, "Even Jesus drank the wine, pastor. That wasn't grape juice." We are not all alcoholics, we are not all going to be "led astray" by alcohol, and all alcohol is not found in seamy little backwater dives. I really think that this is one of those areas that is up to the denomination, to the church, and to the individual. There are some faiths that think all wine is forbidden, and I respect their views just as I would never tell this church they're wrong. They just have a different interpretation of common verses and teachings.
I will, however, say that this is one of those areas that helps to narrow down where my "church home" may be in the future. Welcoming, loving, and singing are very important to me in the church. Teachings straight out of the Bible are also very important, and I don't want to choose a church that skims over hard topics. I do, however, have to draw the line when it's a rule that goes counter to my own beliefs, based on reading these same verses. Some drink, some don't. And that's okay.
I had last Sunday all planned out. I knew my route, I knew my church, I was dressed appropriately for the location (semi-casually). Ready to go.
And then.
Driving to the church, I noticed the parking lot seemed awfully empty. Two cars pulled away as I drove up, and my heart began to sink. What was going on? As I drove past the front of the church, I could see worship times printed. Service had ended at least half an hour before I drove over! This particular church has two locations, and apparently I had gotten the times mixed up so I was on time for the other location, about 45 minutes' drive away.
Now what?
Because of this project, I have really noticed all of the churches around me as I drive through town. It's even opened up conversations with the rest of the family, as they ask "Have you gone to this one?" or other questions about service types or even sermons. I remembered a church that was pretty close to my current wrong-for-today church, and quickly looked it up on my phone (thank you, God, for smartphones!). They had a service starting in half an hour, and YAY, I could come dressed a little more casually!
I truly believe that God will put us where we need to be, wherever He wants us to be. That has been evident in the big things before in my life, and it was no less evident than it was last Sunday. I have no idea what the sermon might have been at the church I planned to attend, but the sermon this week was timely and it gave me some needed perspective.
This last week, the U.S. Ambassador to Libya was brutally tortured and murdered. Embassies in many countries are besieged, and they seem so vulnerable. Presidential candidates went back and forth over reactionary comments, with bickering on both sides. The world, seemingly, is on fire.
Sometimes a song can uplift an entire congregation.
The congregation of the church I attended this last week, Grace Christian Center, has a wide variety of ages, skin colors, clothing styles... God's people were well represented. Ushers in blazers helped latecomers to their seats, and helped the service go smoothly. The choir sounded amazing, but the music leader, Pastor Charles Reid, Jr., really spoke to my heart. His energy, his love for the Lord and his heart for the music, really spoke to me during the entire service. I will never hear this song without remembering him pointing to the heavens with "every high and every low," the congregation's voices filling the sanctuary. In a time that seems frightening, this song made me feel God's arms truly wrapping around me and His voice reminding me, "I will never leave you."
The main message of the sermon was based on Christ's Sermon on the Mount, from Luke 21:25-28.
Luke 21:25-28
New International Version (NIV)
25 “There will be signs in the sun, moon and stars. On the earth, nations will be in anguish and perplexity at the roaring and tossing of the sea.26 People will faint from terror, apprehensive of what is coming on the world, for the heavenly bodies will be shaken.27 At that time they will see the Son of Man coming in a cloud with power and great glory.28 When these things begin to take place, stand up and lift up your heads, because your redemption is drawing near.”
Pastor Terry Whitley reminded us not to go too deep into prophesy, saying that only God knows at what hour He will return. But over and over, the phrase "Perplexity of nations" rang in my head. That is what we are dealing with today. There is confusion, anger, despair, perplexity everywhere. Over the sermon, Pastor Whitley went over some historical background. No matter what happened, whether it was the beginning of our country or the Civil Rights movement, God was in control. Many times, he would say, "What sin abounds, grace will much more abound." What a wonderful reminder! No matter what war, what unrest, what horror the world endures, there is an entry of God's work. So we can look forward to what God's redemption will be in the current times. God cannot be outdone. I am glad for the chance to visit this church. It seems vibrant and growing, focusing on service and learning about God. There was a circle of prayer before the sermon that was very moving to watch, and of course the music...oh, the music. I particularly liked how he closed the service, "Now go be the church."
