Why I Sometimes Procrastinate

I procrastinate when the thing I am supposed to do is unpleasant, or awkward, or boring.  I procrastinate when my feelings are mixed and I'm not sure how to write about them.  I really procrastinate when all of these things are true.

I definitely procrastinated this week, but I did go to church last Sunday.  I just didn't like it, and it was hard for me to think of a way to write about the experience without sounding, indeed, like "The Church Critic".

This was my first experience with a Church of Christ, or CoC.  One of my oldest friends was raised in this church in Arizona, and still feels connected with it.  So, knowing a few things about them but really very little, I went.

I knew that they sang a capella.  (I was not aware that this meant there was no choir, but I was prepared for the lack of any instrumentation at all.)

I knew they were more formal than most churches I'm accustomed to.  This wasn't based on my friend's information, but on how her grandmother was when I would visit after school.

I should have talked to J a little bit more.  But such is life.  We have to wing it sometimes.

When I reached the church, I was a minute or so late.  The parking lot was totally devoid of life, but full of cars.  I checked the service times twice-- yes, their main service was at the time I thought.  Walking into the doors, the hallway was empty save for one woman heading away from me.  No one else was around.  No sound.  No chatter.  Coming to the sanctuary doors, there was an order of service on a small table, and two men were talking a little bit.  They ignored me utterly, though they both looked directly at me.

Okay, then.

Walking into the sanctuary, I could see that who I assumed was the pastor was speaking, and the order of service was also displayed on a screen behind him.  (The inside of the sanctuary was large and airy, with the wall behind the pulpit soaring high...lovely.)

Here is one problem, and this is only a problem for me (and others in my situation)-- I couldn't understand the speaker at all.  The microphone amplification quality was so poor and echoing, I wondered to myself if any of the older congregants could understand him either.  But that's my issue, and not a CoC or even church issue here.

The music director?  Head singer?  I'm not sure what one would call him, but he led us in singing.  And every song that was chosen was slow.  And dirge-like.  And solemn.  Is this typical?  I don't know.  I just tried to follow along.  The church information explained that they sing a capella so everyone can fully concentrate, body and mind, on the teachings of God.  But surely they're allowed some energy in their singing?

Then there was the sermon.  Which was about how wrong homosexuality was.  And how bad it was if a couple got divorced and remarried.  And on.  And on.

Not how to help single mothers or how to help families stay together.

Not how to guide people with love, or act Christ-like.

Just...lots of sex and immorality.

Okay, then.

I did get a welcome packet.  I did have one very, very sweet and quiet lady welcome me personally to the church.  Her soft, gentle hand on my shoulder and her quiet smile make me smile in return, just thinking of her.

I'm sure you can tell why I am not being specific about which CoC this is.  There is more than one CoC locally, and thousands elsewhere.  I do not want to judge all, by how this one was.  I understand from J that the churches she attended were more formal, and more judgmental.  But those are her opinions.  This blog contains mine, and I a) don't want to insult the members of this congregation and b) don't want to insinuate that they're all like this.

I do not mind the a capella singing. In further reading, I see that the CoC denomination is trying to recreate what they felt Jesus would have done for His first church, and how they believed and worshiped.  Those are honorable intentions.

This church, at least on this Sunday, lacked one thing I believe others felt around Jesus.  And that is joy.  There was so little joy in the welcoming.  There was no joy in the sermon.  There was no joy in the music.  I can handle being reproved or being taught uncomfortable lessons.

I cannot handle a lack of joy.  Not when I remember how it felt to learn that Jesus was one friend I could always count on, and one friend who would never leave me.  Not when I know the comfort He provides, or the blessings He did.

Sometimes it's easy to know what is not the right church home for me.

Church Critic

My family has given me a ton of good-natured ribbing over this project.  It began when my husband jokingly called me "The Church Critic", and it has evolved over time to an entire rating system for reviewing churches.

Let me be clear.  I am not like Dana Carvey's (hilarious) portrayal of "The Church Lady" from Saturday Night Live.

I'm also not like Siskel and Ebert's old movie reviews with the "two thumbs up!"

At the same time, though, their kidding tickles me and we've come up with what a true "Church Critic" might use for their reviewing system.

5/5 Steeples -- The outside looks very "churchy".

10/10 Alleluia's -- Audience participation is great!

3/3 Bibles -- The sermon actually related to the verse that was shared.

5/5 Hymnbooks -- Godly music!

5/5 Choir Robes -- Usually reserved for full gospel choirs.  :)

10/10 Candles -- Not all churches use candles.  Some use flowers, others are more stark but still they feel like godly places.  Some churches are really, really showy.

4/4 Communion cups -- Communion was offered, explained, and not rushed through.

5/5 Anointings -- I've only been to one church with oil, but one should be prepared!

10/10 Offering plates -- The offering was done in a respectful, non-showy way that did not directly point out who was giving what.  (Believe it or not, I went to one church where parishioners filed in front of the church to put their offering in the basket.  This was very public.  I heard of another church where deacons stood at the doors until the offering was a large enough amount, and then everyone could leave.)

5/5 Coffees -- Would I want to sit down and have a chat with the people who I met?

You get the idea.  This is all in fun, and I hope it made you laugh.  A church experience can't be broken down into all of its individual parts like this, any more than a movie can be.  It's personal, it's individual, and all I can do is write about what I encountered.  Another person, even on that exact day, may feel different things from what I felt.  I do try to add information about what the different denominations are like (since most people tend to stay within the denomination where they grew up), as well as some other observations that I've had about congregations and sermons.  Nothing I write is meant to be taken as gospel (pun intended).

Three out of three Bibles-- it must be good!

Message of Meaning

I'll admit it.  Sometimes I add a church to my list because I drive by it often and I like the sign.  If the sign is funny, witty, meaningful, or even updated often, I am drawn to the church and their congregation.  It's how I found First Church of the Nazarene, and it's how I found last week's church as well.  Trinity Baptist Church is one of those churches.

I read their website as part of my pre-visit preparation, and the pastor sounded so earnest that I was intrigued.  Nothing about the site was pushy, nothing was preachy, it was just "here is our church and we hope we can welcome you".  I am a real sucker for that kind of church website.

Walking towards the building, I first noticed the live oaks that surround it.  There were leaves and acorns underfoot, branches overhead, and a feeling that the church was a part of the earth and not trying to overcome it.  The trees shelter the front entrance somewhat, and a visitor might feel ushered in as I did.

Entering the sanctuary, I noticed the organ music.  I'll admit right here, that I am not a big fan of organ music.  My mom would have recognized whatever it was being played, but I just felt an innermost sinking.  My church journey, so far, sometimes feels split into two camps-- organ music and rockin' gospel.  I've only attended a couple of places that had the kind of modern, prayerful blend of old and new that I really like to sing along to.

Want to know a secret, though?  Once the choir started singing, even with the very traditional hymns, I didn't care.  The choir director sang along, with her clear voice and absolute joy in the music leading us all to enjoy.

I really love this song.

How wonderful it is, when a choir and a congregation sing together with wide smiles on their faces!  Regardless of the type of music, the joy in the room envelopes everyone.  I began to suspect that there was something really special here.

There was a traditional speak-and-respond call to worship, two scripture readings, pastoral and Lord's prayer, and a few more hymns besides the one I linked to above.  The order of service was smooth and flowing, with the children in attendance moving to the front of the sanctuary at the end of one hymn for "Children's Time" with the pastor before their Children's Church.

If any of the attending parents were like my mother, and any of these children were like the girl I once was, I can imagine they were holding their breath when the kids went to the front.  The Pastor, after all, had a mike on.  Little voices sometimes carry.  Little voices sometimes make comments that make parents want to sink through the floor.  

Thankfully, none of this happened and the Pastor's quick talk with the children about "giving thanks" and asking what they were thankful for was simply sweet. I didn't even have a child at the front of the church and my eyes misted a bit. I loved this, and I hope it's something that happens often, if not at every service.  

Then, there was the sermon.  Pastor Morgan said at the beginning that he was at a gathering when he was asked about the end times.  He was asked about Hurricane Sandy, and wars, and all of the political strife across the world, and if those signaled the end times. 

He said he didn't know, but he didn't think so. He explained that "apocolypse" and "revelation" were the same thing, translated-- that there was a revealing of truth in the Book of Revelation.  He then talked about looking at the Dallas skyline, and how amazing it was, and how impressive it was.

Then he related it to this verse:

Mark 13:1-8-- As Jesus was leaving the temple, one of his disciples said to him, “Look, Teacher! What massive stones! What magnificent buildings!”

² “Do you see all these great buildings?” replied Jesus. “Not one stone here will be left on another; every one will be thrown down.”

³ As Jesus was sitting on the Mount of Olives opposite the temple, Peter, James, John and Andrew asked him privately, ⁴ “Tell us, when will these things happen? And what will be the sign that they are all about to be fulfilled?”

⁵ Jesus said to them: “Watch out that no one deceives you. ⁶ Many will come in my name, claiming, ‘I am he,’ and will deceive many. ⁷ When you hear of wars and rumors of wars, do not be alarmed. Such things must happen, but the end is still to come. ⁸ Nation will rise against nation, and kingdom against kingdom. There will be earthquakes in various places, and famines. These are the beginning of birth pains.

Pastor Morgan then went on to talk about prayer, and what we give thanks for at Thanksgiving.  He poked a little fun at himself that all of his items began with the letter "f":

Family

Faith (not dogma)

Fun

Freedom

Finances

Food

Fitness

He then said that these were the stones of our temple, the idols of our day.  These are all blessings from God, true, but when we put them before God, they become idols.  And just like the Temple in Jesus' day, they will collapse and be brought down.

Our foundations are being torn down.  They've become a temple.  Now, we must look for faith, not in buildings or tradition, but in God's work.

Do we pray for God's grace, or that He will follow our intentions?  What are we to do when our foundations crumble?  Only one thing.  We keep moving one foot in front of the other.  "Eventually we come to a place that has expected our return."  

God is on his throne.

I would absolutely return to this church. It wasn't their bread ministry for visitors (I received a lovely loaf of pumpkin spice bread), their witty sign, nor the music-- it was the sermon of absolute meaning and worth.  It was the Pastor himself, greeting his congregation and visitors as we left, noting visitors and chatting a moment. It was the email I received later, from the Pastor, thanking me personally for my visit. There is much that makes a church special and this is one of the several I've visited so far that have truly affected me.